Cameron Diaz Loves You

Cameron Diaz Loves You

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songs for cool girls (for murph)

1.) Denise- Fountains of Wayne
2.) Gogo- Dada
3.) Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots- The Flaming Lips
4.) The Perfect Girl- The Cure
5.) She's So Strange- Travis
6.) Femme Fatale- The Velvet Underground & Nico
7.) Annie Mae- John Lee Hooker
8.) Killer Queen- Queen
9.) I Want You (She's So Heavy)- The Beatles
10.) Tiny Dancer- Elton John
11.) Kate- Ben Folds Five
12.) Ramona- Guster
13.) She's Electric- Oasis
14.) Uptown Girl- Billy Joel
15.) Since U Been Gone- Kelly Clarkson
16.) Her Majesty- The Beatles

Playlist for Waiting for the Mail to Come

1.) Anticipation- Carly Simon
2.) Please Mr. Postman- The Marvelettes
3.) Waiting on the World to Change- John Mayer
4.) You Can’t Hurry Love- The Supremes
5.) Oh Mr. Postman- B*Witched
6.) Unchained Melody- Righteous Brothers
7.) Eyes of a Giant- The Brew
8.) Waiting in Vain- Bob Marley

rejection fuels my anxiety
and i am hooked.

i drive through my hometown, trying to stare as straight ahead as possible; trying to keep my head as straight as possible. nostalgia is nagging at me. here is where i kissed my first boy, broke my first limb, and went through puberty. i spent 12 years learning in this school system.

westfield has become a ghost town for me. an empty shell which used to house and hold all of loves of my life. everyone has scattered now, including me. i knew none of us would end up here, but i didn't picture we'd all end up so far apart. 

the truth is, whenever i've tried to imagine my future, it's all too fuzzy; a channel that doesn't quite come in. i try to imagine myself having aged 10 or 20 years. i can't. will i still change my hair so frequently long after vanity has grown tired? will there be someone to share my life with? will i be a mother; will i have to get a mom haircut and a minivan? will i live somewhere like westfield, somewhere where my offspring will eventually and ultimately get as far away from as they can stand? (for me it wasn't so far.)

i haven't figured out where i feel the most "right" yet. but i truly believe i will find it.

and i find my own faith inspiring.

scrooged

i am feeling a tad bob cratchet this frostbitten christmas week while i work every day except christmas.

ok, a bob cratchet with good benefits-- i have one more vacation day to use for fri.
(because seriously, who wants to go back to work for just one day?!)

i'm not done with all my christmas shopping yet. but i am pretty close.
but i'm not exactly sure when i'm going to go shopping again. i work too many jobs.

bah ho-hum.

watching the world change